Palos Verdes Peninsula, CA
“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” – Anais Nin
“Projections” are something we do when we don’t want to take responsibility for our feelings and characteristics. It’s an unhealthy defense mechanism that’s an easy way out to deflect personality traits we don’t like to own, onto others. Guess what? It works both ways!
There is a concept that’s far more empowering and that is the idea of a Positive Projection.
I had spent much of life in comparison mode and let’s just say I wasn’t winning the race. I could see the beauty in just about every everyone else … but not myself.
What I’ve learned since has rocked my world and helped me begin to see life and myself through a new lens, a clearer lens, a lens that reflects a new reality.
You know that phrase, “You spot it. You got it?” Most of us have been taught to use that in a negative way, through the lens of negative projections.
Why not flip it around and start applying this concept in a positive way?
That’s the brilliance of a positive projection.
If you spot a beautiful woman and you’re beginning to compare yourself with all those old stories of “not enough” and feeling jealousy or envy that it’s lacking in you…stop and think for a moment.
You can’t see what isn’t in you!
You spot it. You got it.
You see beauty?…then, that beauty you see exists within you.
You see kindness. You can’t experience kindness in another if it isn’t in you.
Do you admire someone for their strength and integrity? I’ve got news for you …
YOU SPOT IT. YOU GOT IT!
Life is a mirror. Life only reflects back to us what is in us.
Isn’t it time you owned the beauty that’s in you?
The beauty that is you?
I see you and you are beautiful to me.
14 comments
Susan Broughton
Love this so much!! It is so true!! And wouldn’t the world be so much better if we were spotting the positive vs the negative? Thank you!!
Catherine Grace O'Connell
Wouldn’t this world be a whole lot brighter, Sarah???
Barb Cowle
Whenever I’m feeling down or blue, I can always count on reading 📖 any of your inspiring posts Catherine.
For some reason, my age is is bothering me the last month or so. I feel so old compared to you and the rest of the fabulous fierce sisterhood.
Some of my family members (sister’s) think I’m too old to be posting some of my photo’s, and to tell you the truth are they right? I was having fun, enjoying my midlife years with you & the all the amazing uplifting Insta friends.
What do you think?
I just purchased our 3rd book 📖 “Sacred Powers.” I remember you interviewing DavidJi at Fierce Con. I’m hoping reading this book will give each kick in my pants, and make me believe I am a strong Fierce & beautiful woman.
Love you my Fierce & gorgeous friend ♥️
Catherine Grace O'Connell
I love your courage and vulnerability, my friend. I have a feeling you know what I think! I think it’s hogwash!!! WE have to shore up our energy to deflect other’s negative projections. Just because that’s their belief doesn’t mean it has to be yours. I understand the ebbs and flows of emotions. That’s normal and it’s part of life. Some days I’m a lot more Fierce than others. Some days, I crumple and fall and have to pick myself up again. I do believe Davidji’s book will lift you. He’s so inspiring. His book was definitely given to a lot of the FFR sisters over the holidays. I kept hearing that over and over. I wish you could meet him in person. Perhaps, one day we can together. I did meet him in Canada the first go round!
Cara Moulds
Yes Catherine. I love that you’re teaching this. One of the exercises I use in coaching is to write about three people you admire and why. The qualities you admire in another are your soul calling you to step into that in a bigger, more powerful way. That’s why you admire those qualities in others.
I’m sharing this to inspire more women to realize their highest spiritual expansion.
Catherine Grace O'Connell
That’s a fabulous exercise. That’s why some of the greatest teachers like Jim Rohn tell you to surround yourself with people you wish to be like, who inspire you and your future self. I’m delighted to connect with you and would love to know more about your coaching!
Julie
This is such a great way to look at this! I do tend to really pay attention to people who are kind and generous. Hopefully that is a reflection of myself 🙂
Catherine Grace O'Connell
Hi Julie, Isn’t it fun to find out there’s a really easy way to see the beauty and good in you? I would say that is definitely a reflection!
jodie filogomo
I love this!!!
It’s funny because we have somewhat that same thought….we tend to trust others because we are trustworthy. So we always wonder about the people that don’t trust others. Is it because they aren’t trustworthy??
XOOX
Jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
Catherine Grace O'Connell
Hi sista! That’s a great question! I feel the answer to that is a bit more complex and might take a wonderful psychologist to get to the heart of it. I would say that absolutely when we don’t trust others, we don’t trust ourselves. Now, that doesn’t always mean we aren’t trustworthy but I would think that one conclusion you can definitely draw in people who aren’t trustworthy that they won’t trust others. When we don’t trust ourselves, it’s hard to trust others. Yet, if we are drawn to people who are trustworthy, there’s a reason for that. Maya Angelou was a big believer in using the mirror as a powerful tool for self development. If she was triggered by someone in a negative way…if she saw a negative quality in someone…she would always look for that quality in herself and bring light to it. We transmute it when we become conscious of it and bring light. It’s just our shadow showing up to be realized and healed. There’s so much to learn in the realm of spiritual psychology. When we begin to understand both our spirit or our higher self and our psyche, we have immense power to heal any darkness within.
Amy Kennedy
Oh Catherine! I love this post! Thank you so much! It is something I’ve needed to work on, to “fine tune” my attitude a bit! I really appreciate this! Do you have any recommended reading on this topic? Love this!
Catherine Grace O'Connell
I love that question, Amy. I only share what I need to learn for myself. If you happen to peek at the answer I just shared with Jodie, this may shed more light. I learned about Positive Projections in my Masters in Spiritual Psychology Class. It’s basically the flip side to learning about the shadow and life as a mirror. Within our shadow lies our beauty. The “shadow” is simply a cloud lying overhead and prevents us from seeing the light on the other side of the shadow. I’m working to compile book lists with my favorite books to help us understand ourselves. I’ll send you an email with a bunch of links. I’ll compile a list of Resources to help you add more Moxie to your life and your path of self realization as that’s what life is all about, isn’t it?
Jacqueline Depaul
What an interesting viewpoint! I never thought of that.
Catherine Grace O'Connell
Simply the beautiful mirror concept we spoke of last week, sister. You are beautiful to me!