Contemplation of Something Broken

"When we are no longer able to change a situation - we are challenged to change ourselves.”

I was talking to a friend this week. I was at a low point. Really low. I needed some saving Grace.

It was a mix of personal grief over a relationship and intense physical pain, a cracked tooth and an ensuing wicked infection. It’s times like this when it feels like there’s a volcano of emotions welling up from within, feelings built up over time. Painful feelings. Intense emotions that may feel permanent yet, I know in my heart, are only temporary.

My friend and I are both dealing with a heartbreaking personal issue. We’re fortunate to have each other to walk the path of healing together. We know this path well. We each bring a gigantic and ever evolving toolbox after decades of working in the inner world filled with all kinds of magical tools. Tools we love to share.

This week brought with it many revelations. The main one was that triggers exist outside of us. Those triggers can be people. They can be situational. They can be environmental. Triggers can be anything and everything. But triggers are only triggers. They aren’t causes. Triggers are a gift, a painful gift at times, to show us wounds on the inside. Wounds demanding our attention. Denial or looking away only deepens the wound and intensifies the pain. We’ve both learned that the hard way. We are facing this straight on!

Healing is an inside job.

Any wound that exists on the inside is always matched by a power we possess to heal that very wound.

Feelings exist within us. So do emotions. So does heartbreak. Whatever is broken can be repaired. It may look different. It may feel different. It may take time. But, it can be healed.

This week brought with it a lot of Grace and a lot of Gratitude. It also brought a broken molar that’s on its way out and a fancy schmancy dental implant that’s on its way in.

I’m losing a tooth. The replacement won’t look the same. It may not feel the same.

It’s a lot like a broken heart.

Broken hearts heal. They may never be the same but they do heal. Oftentimes, the healing brings with it more compassion, more empathy and more self forgiveness.

Broken hearts go on to love again. When they’re strong enough, they open up to risk being broken once again.

Love always comes with risk. 

I’m feeling lighter. I’m feeling hopeful. My friend and I made a Pact. Through our heartbreak and our healing, we’re creating meaning. Meaning for ourselves and for others. We have decided to create a process for ourselves to share with others while playing with and experiencing all the powerful tools in our toolbox.

Life will bring more pain. Life will bring more heartbreak. Life will also bring more Grace.

We are choosing Grace. Saving Grace or, perhaps more importantly, Grace is Saving Us.

Cheers Beauties. Here’s to healing heartbreak and to helping others along the way. As Victor Frankl so powerfully showed us, finding meaning in life and in our suffering is the very thing that allows us to transcend it. Meaning gives us the power to accept, to heal and to rise above our suffering.

A Meaningful Midlife is the only kind of Midlife for me.

How about you?

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Oh Catherine! I am so sorry for this pain you are going through! Life and love are both so hard and yet so beautiful. The pain is a sign that proves how truly beautiful and deep love can be. And I know you have one of the biggest most beautiful hearts I have ever encountered. But from this moment will come strength, I promise you. In the meantime, just take it step by step, breath by breath. You will get through this, you are going to be ok. Hugs my dear beautiful friend!


Thank you beautiful friend. When we open our hearts to love, we open ourselves to losing that love. Love isn’t always forever. I’m ready to let go, let God and to heal. Thank you for your love and support. It means the world to me.


Choosing grace. I love that idea because you’re so right. There will always be some pain.


Isn’t it a wonderful place to be. Grace.

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