“Loving yourself isn’t vanity. It’s sanity.”- Andre Gide
It was Thursday morning.
I woke up after a night tossing and turning.
The evening before, I returned home after experiencing my very first laser treatment.
Or laser treatments.
Lots of them.
I had 4 lasers combined with lots of needles pricked all over my face.
I’m a virgin at all of this.
I didn’t know what to expect.
I looked into the mirror and the reflection I saw didn’t look at all like me.
My face swelled up like a balloon.
I had enormous bags under my eyes.
Bruises forming across my face.
I looked like I’d been in a fight.
A bad one.
Funny thing was, it didn’t scare me.
I looked at my reflection and laughed.
The old me would have worried, stressed…what would people think?
Will I look like me again?
I remember having this moment, this awareness.
That’s not me.
I’m the same person on the inside.
I may look different on the outside but it didn’t matter.
I realized I had changed.
I was different
On the inside.
My face continued to swell.
Like a puffer fish.
Bigger and bigger.
I received an invitation to a party.
A big party.
A fancy party.
In a penthouse with important people.
The party was the next day.
I decided to go.
Sure I was swollen.
Under eye bags.
I tossed on a pair of sunglasses.
I didn’t look like me but
I was me.
The real me
I’m just getting to know
And I like her.