"You can’t stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.”
Winnie The Pooh Tweet
One of the most frequently searched for questions on Google is: “How do I make friends at midlife?”
Fortunately, I have oodles of experience in this area. Some of the best friendships in my life happened after I turned 55!
How did this happen and, more importantly, how can this happen for you? First of all, let me assure you that if I can do it you can do it. In my early 50’s, I made a bold move cross-country from Chicago to LA. I was starting over. From scratch. I knew exactly two people in LA – my daughter and a friend from high school. That was it. Let’s just say my girl loves me but didn’t exactly want to pal around with mom. She had a life of her own. And my high school friend only lived in LA part time. So, that left little old me on my own in the friendship arena.
Fast forward a couple of years and I found myself in a life threatening illness. That certainly didn’t help when it came to finding my peeps in LA. Fortunately, I’m a big believer in Silver Linings. Little did I know how big that Silver Lining would be! Yes, I came close to losing my life. But of course, as I’m here now, I didn’t. Through my healing journey on social media, I ended up creating an entirely new life, one that included a tribe of my very own: Forever Fierce: Midlife Matters!
What I realized is that many women find it difficult to make friends at Midlife & Beyond. It can be scary. I wanted to make it easy for kind women – midlife women – to meet one another. I didn’t have a tribe, so I began to build one – one kind woman at a time. Surprisingly, it wasn’t that hard as I found women really want community. As Brene Brown shares so eloquently, all we really want is love & belonging. It’s that “Belonging” piece that’s key. A sense of belonging comes with finding your peeps – women who resonate with you on a deeper level.
So, back to Forever Fierce known as “The Tribe With the Kind Vibe!” Kindness is our mantra and it’s the secret sauce to kind women naturally finding the community. It’s a heart-centered group of women – women from all over the world – who love to celebrate getting older, while also continually trying new things and cheering each other’s successes.
This Sunday, February 19th was our 6th Anniversary! As we begin our 7th year, let me share what I’ve learned that can help YOU to find or create a tribe of your own. And, know that our Forever Fierce Community is here to welcome any and all kind hearted women too!
- Isolation is a killer. Community and Connection are the keys to making sure you aren’t isolated. Even if you’re homebound, you can still find a group and feel a sense of belonging in a virtual community. There are endless possibilities on Facebook and other social media platforms.
- If you prefer to meet up with women in person, the Meet Up website is back up with new groups forming all the time. You can also start a local meet up of your own centered around things that interest you.
- Taking classes online or in your local community is a great way to meet like minded friends. I completed my meditation teacher training last spring and made lots of new friends through the experience who share my passion for natural wellness and our connection to the inner world.
- Consider reading The Artists Way and joining an Artist Way Community where you can go on Artist Dates in your area.
- Why not take your work and your computer to some local coffee shops? You will change your environment and possibly meet a new friend or two in the process.
- Volunteering in your local community is another great way to meet people while giving back at the same time. It’s also one of the best ways to help yourself by helping another. Giving back feels so good. It’s good for the soul!
- Last but not least, if you haven’t found the perfect community for you and your interests, you can always start a Facebook Community like I did! Trust me, I had no idea how to do it. I just followed the steps and wonderful women made their way into the community. It’s completely changed my life!
What I know for sure is that these years at Midlife & Beyond are some of the most juicy and delicious years in a woman’s life. Friendships tend to run much deeper. We don’t have time for superficial relationships as we get older. Many of us have let our facades down and are more real and authentic than ever before. I highly recommend giving it a go!
Stay tuned, as I’ll share more secrets of what I’ve learned to make these years as meaningful as possible.
8 comments
Mary Katherine
Important topic, Catherine (Jodie put me onto your post today)! I’m blessed with great friends collected over the years. I’ve heard it said “you make your best friends before you’re 20”, but I no longer believe that’s true. I’ve made 2 good friends after 60, and we often talk about how rare that is and how we value it. My 90-yr-old MIL marvels (and I think it quite jealous of) the things my girlfriends and I do, which would have been frowned upon in her day as a housewife and mother. Fortunately those days are gone, and there are more and more groups for women – single or not – to join, like travel companies that cater to single women travellers. Keep up the great work you do, O Fierce One!
Catherine Grace O'Connell
Hello Mary Katherine,
It’s so nice to meet you via Jodie. Isn’t she the absolute best! Thank you so much for your kind comments and feedback. You have shared some beautiful insights and wisdom on the positive side of getting older. Thank you!
Amy Kennedy
Oh Catherine! What a gift this post is! You are so right and there is hope and friendship and community for the woman out there feeling lost and alone. What a gift you are to women in midlife! What a gift you are to me! Thank you for being such a beacon of light to women everywhere and for what you have meant in my life!
Catherine Grace O'Connell
Thank you so much for sharing and you are a huge gift to me!
jodie
Oh, this is so good. I love all the ideas because it can be hard especially when you’ve moved to a different state.
I’ll be sharing this in Wednesday’s email (tomorrow’s is done already and it’s way too long as it is, haha)
OXOX
Jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
Catherine Grace O'Connell
Thank you so much for sharing!!!!
Kasey Bergh
Dearest CGO, this summer I’m going to be launching online women’s communities where awakening women can find community. There are women all over the world doing the WORK on themselves and they’re so often isolated from others. I’ve met my global tribe by spending thousands on training programs. What about the women who aren’t interested in professional trainings? Or can’t afford them?! I’m thrilled by the opportunity!!!
Sending you SO much love!!!
Kasey
Catherine Grace O'Connell
Isn’t that a wonderful mission? Congratulations to you!