Not Today

"What do we say to the God of Death? Not today.”

You’re not going to live forever.

Neither am I.

Who knows when our last day on earth will be?

I almost had mine several years ago. I didn’t think I would be here today. I thought my life was over in 2014. In fact, I was sure it was.

And I was so tired and so beaten down that I was fine with that.

My caretaker at the time would carefully push open the door of my bedroom and check only one thing: Was I still breathing?

Little did I know, that not only was my life not over, a new life was waiting to begin.

As I’m closing in on 60, I can’t help but feel introspective, retrospective, and HUGELY GRATEFUL!

Facing death is what propelled me to live – to live a life of purpose … on purpose.

For much of life, I was living to die.

I really was.

Today, I’m dying to live.

I know what it’s like to be at death’s door. Being on the precipice of death has given me new life. It’s also given my life new meaning.

Facing death has a way of letting the BS fall away.

I came across an interesting article the other day. An article that explained the phenomenon I’ve been experiencing since almost losing my life and why my fear of death is gone.

In the article, Dr. McKay cites various books and research to illustrate why facing death helps us to live more purposefully and meaningfully. Death has a way of creating an instant paradigm shift. The article goes on to say:

“So why do these direct encounters with death impact life views?

According to Vail and others we all have a coping mechanism to deal with our inevitable death. For most people these death thoughts are nonconscious and they are dealt with by seeking self-esteem through ‘extrinsic goals’, meaning culturally imposed standards of worth including wealth, fame, and physical attractiveness.

When people are directly confronted with mortality, such as a severe illness or a near-death experience, the former coping-mechanism of extrinsic goals breaks down. Through efforts to rebuild their coping-strategy people re-evaluate their status-orientated goals and shift toward more ‘intrinsic goals’, such as pursuit of personal growth and insight, and positive interpersonal relationships. This ultimately leads to a more meaningful, more positive, and better life.”

So, if true happiness is intrinsic, why do so many of us spend our lives chasing the extrinsic, the outward goals of the ego that keep us trapped in a vicious cycle of unhappiness?

The past is gone. The present is all we have. The future starts now.

We will all face death, one day.

You know you don’t have to be like me or many others. You don’t have to face death to begin to live, to create a life from the inside out, one with passion, purpose, meaning and joy – a life from the heart – a life that’s good for the soul.

It’s your choice: to live to die one day or to die while living full out, on purpose with no regrets.

It’s time to laugh with joy and say, “Not today.”

Need More Moxie?! See all my Moxie On Monday's!



So glad you’re here, one quarter turn of Saturn later, doing fabulous things and living out loud. I have had so many NDEs and never had any fear of death. Despite the near crossovers, I keep getting sent back. Brushes with death do have a way of making us recognize the magic all around us, the privilege to BE HERE NOW. Much love!


So grateful for you, sister! Without you, this story may not have had such a happy ending. It’s amazing how little I think of death but I do think a lot about life and how to live it out loud, as you say!!! Times are exciting. So much ahead. Not slowing down for sure. Happy birthday, sister. Here’s to more quarter turns and fun in the sun. XO! Catherine


Such insightful thoughts from both you and Dr. McKay. I know I speak for all of us who love you – we are beyond grateful that given another chance to live, that you are living it with such purpose!

I recall when my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer. My mom was always wanting him to “take it easy.” He told her: “I’m going to die living, not live dying.” I will forever live by those words. So many people complain about what ails them or what they think makes their lives so bad. If we could all live our lives being grateful for what we do have and not focus on what we don’t or what we wish was different, perhaps more “life” would come of it!

Thanks you for sharing this today. It made my heart full!


Thank you so much for sharing, dear friend! What a wise Dad you had. He sounds like a beautiful like you! I do wish more humans would realize there is so much beauty in life and to live it now – not to wait for an excuse to wake up or to lose their life to wake up. I appreciate you!


Hopefully I’ll learn from you and not need to experience it myself. I’m getting a little better and having more fun with life!!


You inspire me every single day, my dear friend. I am so incredibly grateful for you. You make the world a brighter place to be!


You are such an inspiration Catherine! Every time I see your old pics I am in awe. You are truly a warrior and survivor. I wanted to ask you about something dear to my heart. So far I have not seen this covered in Fierce and Fabulous. I am an abuse survivor, first being sexually abused by 3 neighborhood boys when I was 7, and then later in midlife I was in two verbally, psychologically, mental and some physical abusive relationships that nearly killed my soul and who I was as a person. I ended up with ptsd, and counseling to help me on my recovery journey which literally took years. I would love to start or be involved in something of this nature to help other hurting women out there. It is just something very dear to my heart. Abuse is NOT the end that it feels like when it is happening. Looking forward to hearing back from you beautiful Catherine Grace O❤️


Dearest Brenda,

Thank you so much for sharing. I, too, was sexually abused as a child. It was life altering as it was for you. No, we haven’t touched on this much in FF, mostly because I’m not a trauma professional. As I’m sure you know, it’s such delicate territory. I wonder if we should ask the community if there is a need for a support group with professionals on board so we can share in a vulnerable way, feeling safe that we have people who understand how to deal with trauma and help us collectively. Just a thought. I would love to hear any ideas you may have too. I’m happy to reach out to some of the therapists I know for advice on how best to proceed. Sending you a huge hug. I am so sorry for what happened to you and grateful you found the support you needed to help you to move forward in a positive way.

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