Not Today: Facing Death Taught Me To Live – Moxie On Monday

You’re not going to live forever.

Neither am I.

Who knows when our last day on earth will be?

I almost had mine several years ago. I didn’t think I would be here today. I thought my life was over in 2014. In fact, I was sure it was.

And I was so tired and so beaten down that I was fine with that.

My caretaker at the time would carefully push open the door of my bedroom and check only one thing: Was I still breathing?

Little did I know, that not only was my life not over, a new life was waiting to begin.

As I’m closing in on 60, I can’t help but feel introspective, retrospective, and HUGELY GRATEFUL!

Facing death is what propelled me to live – to live a life of purpose … on purpose.

For much of life, I was living to die.

I really was.

Today, I’m dying to live.

I know what it’s like to be at death’s door. Being on the precipice of death has given me new life. It’s also given my life new meaning.

Facing death has a way of letting the BS fall away.

I came across an interesting article the other day. An article that explained the phenomenon I’ve been experiencing since almost losing my life and why my fear of death is gone.

In the article, Dr. McKay cites various books and research to illustrate why facing death helps us to live more purposefully and meaningfully. Death has a way of creating an instant paradigm shift. The article goes on to say:

“So why do these direct encounters with death impact life views?

According to Vail and others we all have a coping mechanism to deal with our inevitable death. For most people these death thoughts are nonconscious and they are dealt with by seeking self-esteem through ‘extrinsic goals’, meaning culturally imposed standards of worth including wealth, fame, and physical attractiveness.

When people are directly confronted with mortality, such as a severe illness or a near-death experience, the former coping-mechanism of extrinsic goals breaks down. Through efforts to rebuild their coping-strategy people re-evaluate their status-orientated goals and shift toward more ‘intrinsic goals’, such as pursuit of personal growth and insight, and positive interpersonal relationships. This ultimately leads to a more meaningful, more positive, and better life.”

So, if true happiness is intrinsic, why do so many of us spend our lives chasing the extrinsic, the outward goals of the ego that keep us trapped in a vicious cycle of unhappiness?

The past is gone. The present is all we have. The future starts now.

We will all face death, one day.

You know you don’t have to be like me or many others. You don’t have to face death to begin to live, to create a life from the inside out, one with passion, purpose, meaning and joy – a life from the heart – a life that’s good for the soul.

It’s your choice: to live to die one day or to die while living full out, on purpose with no regrets.

It’s time to laugh with joy and say, “Not today.”