"As long as us women are told, from the time they are little girls, that their looks are the most valuable part of them, how do you expect them NOT to care?”
Beauty.
It gets a lot of airplay and headlines.
Why is it that how we look tends to play such an important role in how we view ourselves?
There was a post I read this week that made me stop. It made me stop and think. It made me sad. It made me mad. It made me confused. Most of all, it made me question beauty and life and just about everything else in the world.
Growing up, Linda Evangelista was everywhere. She was the epitome of beauty – of perfection- of everything the average woman wasn’t.
Today, at 56, Linda Evangelista has gone from being the most sought after supermodel on every major magazine cover to being a complete recluse.
Her story is heartbreaking.
We build a woman up, admire her for her perfect looks, and then her looks are gone through tragic circumstances, and poof, so is her self worth.
I began to think about how our life can change on a dime. For a supermodel to have her beauty erased, disfigured, and her livelihood taken away in an instant is disheartening.
At the very same time, I was listening to an online course by Mickey Singer, the author of “The Untethered Soul” and “The Surrender Experiment.” He begins his course with the age old question of “Who Am I?” As a deep thinker and a lifelong student of elevated consciousness, Mickey dives right into the question of looking at who we are if our physical body is taken away.
If we break it down under a spiritual lens, we aren’t our physical bodies at all. What are we? We are a soul or a spiritual being in a human body.
Our physical body isn’t who we are.
Our beauty or lack thereof isn’t who we are.
The true essence of who we are is beyond the physical.
So how did we get it all mixed up?
More importantly, how do we “unmix” it up?
This made me think about Linda. It made me think about beauty. It also made me think about why there seems to be a belief that beautiful women have it easier than most.
Clearly, I was rapidly heading down a rabbit hole. As long as I was deep in thought, I kept thinking.
Back to Linda.
Without her looks – without her previous supermodel perfection – wasn’t Linda still Linda? Or have we become so jaded and superficial that looks define who we are?
Is how we look our only value?
This led me to thinking about aging.
Aging isn’t exactly accepted in our culture.
It’s silly. Really silly. The truth is we are all aging. Yup. Every single one of us is aging. No one’s given a pass, an exemption on that one.
Youth is coveted. Beauty is revered.
Aging generally means no longer visible, no longer relevant – no longer valued.
Aging is a slow progression of erasing our beauty – hence, erasing our value.
Down the rabbit hole, I ventured deeper and deeper. I thought about Linda. I thought about 5 years – Five F#*king Years – isolated, alone – a recluse – sinking deeper into depression – believing on some level her beauty was her worth.
Her only identity.
Our Beauty equals our Self Worth or …
Our Level of Beauty determines Our Level of Self Worth.
There’s the rub. There’s the effing bullshit.
That’s the belief for so many of us.
It was for me.
With social media constantly in our faces, with filters, photoshop and airbrushing along with creating non reality realities or imperfect lives made to look perfect, many of us are dealing with self worth issues.
The truth is so much deeper than that.
Who we are and how we look are Independent from one another.
The same is true for our self worth.
How we look must not determine our worth, our value.
How we look isn’t constant. How we look is ever changing. Our beauty, no matter how intoxicating, can be taken away in an instant.
After spending way too much time in a deep, dark rabbit hole, I began to understand something so much bigger was happening for all of us through Linda’s story.
Linda is being forced to rise. Not through her beauty but through her brokenness.
Somehow, I sense that, in the end, it’s not her former supermodel beauty and perfection that will be what inspires us most. It will be her journey rising up through the dark and grimy ashes, telling her story, being raw, real and beautiful in an entirely different way that will be her legacy and lesson, leaving us all forever changed, understanding that our worth, our value and our essence is so much more than skin deep.
It takes finding Love. Self-Love. I think Linda’s finding it. It’s not easy.
Linda, thank you. You have inspired me
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8 comments
ryan brown
What a beautiful article.
Catherine Grace O'Connell
Thank you so much!
Debbie Laino
This is exactly what I rebel against ,hence the reason why I started The Ageless Woman Movement. AGE should not be what we’ve
made it into. I look it as collective experience…..LIFE – not AGE. I want to respond to the line: “Aging generally means no longer visible, no longer relevant – no longer valued.” Its criminal to me that our culture has a crush on eternal youth! To that I say….women need to collectively stand up to this unfair bias and change the way we look at the process of life and the passage of years on a womans face and body. I can recall finding a picture of myself at 13, and seeing a note on the back written by my mom that says “looks promising” WTH? Great article Catherine, my heart goes out to Linda for her sad experience and I’m so glad she now has the courage to stand up and tell her story! Bravo!
Catherine Grace O'Connell
I know it is, sister, and why I love your voice and your community. It’s amazing what happens when the universe challenges us and we rise up to meet and overcome the obstacles!
LISA L KOHLER
What a sad story, I hope she can find a way to self love and inner peace and become a way shower for others ! thanks for sharing.
Catherine Grace O'Connell
Such a sad story, sister. I love that idea – to be a wayshower. To know that this painful challenge won’t be in vain. Pun definitely intended.
Kelly Novak Montano
In her non super model looks one could say geez she still is gorgeous. I saw some pictures of her relatively recently? Weight gain….ummm yes. Who cares she is still gorgeous. So I wonder if the perfection she has seen all her life has maybe altered what us normal human beings just call aging….again she is still gorgeous. Maybe not to herself but certainly to all of us that love her.❤️
Catherine Grace O'Connell
I saw what you saw, sister. Still a very beautiful woman although lacking her former confidence in her energy. I do believe this painful challenge will lead doors to open and healing to occur, for Linda and women overall.